Introspection

How we feel about ourselves projects on our perception of others…

Finding peace at heart is the first step at personal growth. No one has a perfect life, regret, worry and disappointment are healthy responses to a person who is striving and calculating their next move in this world.  A joyful and cheery temperament is sometimes difficult to maintain the majority of the time. We don’t have to be “happygolucky” 24/7  but brooding negative thoughts are more damaging to the psyche than we realize.

Insecurities often stresses relationships; it often manifests itself in an individual’s personality as exaggerated emotional tendencies. Possessiveness, jealousy, envy, vindictiveness are all outlets of insecurity. One must face the faults in his character or reason with influencing factors, listen to the others in order to take time out for introspection and some “soul searching.” It is necessary to understand the roots and causes of some negative characteristics of your personality.

A  person who is flawed/ not happy with themselves will see the projection in others and their actions– example of theory;

• thieves have a constant fear of being the victim of theft
• liars never believe the spoken word
• unfaithful lovers never trust their partners
• “Rolling stones”  have issues with commitment and often don’t understand the satisfaction of monogamy
• a person with a low esteem is always anticipating the role of a victim
• Naive good- hearted people often overlook the deceptive characteristics in others
• Depressed people only tune in and often exaggerate the negative
• Happy people share a dose of optimism and see the good in situations

Others sense  the vibrations according to the present temperament; the signs are intuitively communicated through body language, tone of voice and even the way sentences are worded– all indicators.  Cheery people always seem to lift spirits while downers have the opposite effect.  Take time out to study the way people react towards you to grasp a firm understanding  of the energy that is being released from your person. It is possible you may just discover characteristics that may have been holding you back  from maturing completely in interpersonal relationships–there is always room for improvement.

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While I conversed with a lady I came to a realization; she was attractive in her appearance and mind– blessed and cursed. The past few years of her life was a blur, a troubled harlet but now she was enrolled in college and always flaunting a charming smile. I revealed some of my life frustrations to her, nothing to be worried about really she thought as we came from two different worlds. It couldn’t compare to what she had been through, she simply smiled and tried her best to be sympathetic as I told my life crisis but frivolous in her eyes as there was no life threatening danger involved.

“Why are you stressing…..regret is stupid…don’t take life so serious you gotta relax sometimes! God is good” –the only thing that got her through rehab she confessed. My tongue got heavy and only a smile crept on my face, we shared a laugh while she steered the car with her knees in an attempt to lighten the mood.

She was happy to lead a healthy life while my armageddon was dawning as I searched  impatiently for a start to my career.

Things are only as bad as we believe them to be.

The philosophy of the wisest man that ever existed, is mainly derived from the act of introspection.                                              -William Godwin

Is our destiny preordained?

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it

– Jean de la Fontaine

Every year we grow in the  likeness of our fathers; they say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Quite true, we are steered in a direction by our family and surroundings at a very young age. The effects of our up bringing never really cease to impact our lives.  Everything is relevant, every stimulus affects the mind, though not obvious or noticed easily. The mind is a sponge soaking up all the energies and information in the environment. It is occurrences like these that we have  no control.

History repeats itself all the time in the family tree, if you don’t believe me, then take time out to bridge the connections in your own. We often hear people talk about “the family curse” or why the “joneses” always seem to be doing so well. Why is it  this way? Successful people have a “way” about them while poverty breeds more poverty.

Good people attract good people and channel the energy towards their endeavors, while the ones not so fortunate are trapped in the prism of failure and mediocrity. The bible has so many life lessons, though I’m not too religious certain verses often spring into my train of thought when I study life’s happenings.

Exodus 34 :7

“Keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

Well these versus are always left up to interpretation; when applied to directly to your life it makes perfect sense. Some one told me not to worry about tomorrow but do all I can today. Keep a calm temperament and manage stress, your life will shape into what is supposed to be, the plan or structure in your head is only a guide. Life is not rigid, expect the unexpected and welcome the deviations for the aesthetic education. The key is not to dwell on the negatives in the past or they will always have a reach into the present. Clear the ties, focus on where you want to be and act accordingly. It’s funny now, an author couldn’t write a similar plot to some of the experiences in my life.

Do you accept your fate?….

I heard a story…

A youngman in his early 20’s felt defeated after a long day at the office. He walked on the street toward a coffee shop while loosening his tie and let out a “sigh”. He  wondered how bright of a  future he would have and if his vision for success might have been a delusion. He began to drag his feet as his thoughts weighed him down, then out of the corner his eye he sees a clean cut middle-aged man consumed in his thoughts smoking a cigarette while leaning on a brand new sports car.

He approached the “spiffy” gentleman in an effort to “bum” a smoke but more deliberately to inquire about his profession and why there was a surrealism about his demeanor–  free of worries  and stress that usually plagued professionals.

“Good day sir, may  I join you for a smoke?” He asked.

“Sure son, nothing like a good smoke before a coffee.”  The guru retorted.

“I couldn’t help but notice this car, you must be the owner the way your resting on it.” The young man gave a witty remark.

“This is the one I take out every now and then to drive downtown to grab the attention of mediocre souls.” The guru winked to reaffirm his teasing.

“Well you sure got my attention. How do I become successful like you? How do you make your money?” He pleaded as the guru’s teasing struck a nerve.

“Son, it’s not about how, it is about if you have what it takes to become successful! ” The guru looked the young man in the face with a stone cold expression as if  he was annoyed by the question. After a brief moment of awkwardness the guru’s relaxed his temperament. The young man, doe-eyed was consumed in introspection contemplating if in fact he asked a stupid question.

“Okay son, I’ll share my secret if you meet me at the beach at 4.a.m tomorrow morning.”

“4 a.m— beach?” He confusingly asked. This is going to be good he thought, must be a master secret.

The next morning the young man staggered out of bed and muttered miserably to himself; he could’nt believe he actually agreed to such an arrangment. As he walked cautiously on the beach searching for the guru’s figure in the darkness while he called out to him, he felt a touch on his shoulder. It startled him briefly– it was the guru.

“Okay my friend I’m ready to tell you my secret after a quick dip in the water if you don’t mind.”  A hint of deception could be sensed but the young man ignored his intuition–the secret to success was worth risking it all.

The two men proceeded to the water, not exchanging much words at this time. The guru walked several paces ahead until the water level reached his upper-chest. The young man however was shorter, the water-level quickly made him nervous.

“I’m going back! Why do you insist on soaking this far out?” He complained  as he turned in retreat to the shore.

Without warning the guru viciously grabbed the young man by the shoulders and held him under water the second he turned his back. The struggle began, the young man kicked and punched in panic. He tried desperately to “gouch” the eyes  of the guru while his lungs rose to his throat and his muscles almost spent. The guru’s gripped still not yeilding but holding firm–he had gone mad.

In the last moment the young man’s body made one last adrenaline induced maneuver out of shear desperation. The guru anticipated this move and freed his grip. He helped the young man back to the shore. The young man weak and gasping for air threw a punch at the guru but missed–his coordination was sub par at this time.

“What the f-ck was that?” He violently exclaimed while clutching his stomach.

The guru in all his calmness and element simply said. “The desperate urge you had to take your last breath to live; that is the same feeling you must have to succeed –the secret.You must rise above when your body says it’s over. Never accept circumstances that are stacked against you and above all you must sacrifice—Good luck.”

The guru turned, walked away then got on his bike and rode….

Positive Thinking

“We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own”

“Left Brain vs. Right Brain”

The Conceptual Age

Friedrich Durrenmatt 

Agricultural age —–> Industrial age——->Information age——->Conceptual age.

(farm workers)             (factory workers)    (Knowledge workers)     (creators and empathizers)

18th century                  19th century              20th century                   21st century

The young professional today is graduating from the tertiary educational institution with no guarantee or support from the” industrial machine.” Creativity and innovation should be the theme  for a competent individual who wants to make his mark in the business world. We have seen it with Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg. In this age of abundance, we seek more from life than just a tool that works or knowledge. We seek “experience” and fulfillment as we embrace the mind and its wonders; distancing ourselves from primal instincts in search for a more refined embrace on life as human beings. Empathy, creativity, communication, innovation are all ingredients that will propel a young generation towards ” the future.”

Given this ideology, it is time for the “right brain” to shape the future. Treasure ideas but make sure it is patentable “chuckles”. Artists of every kind will orchestrate business models with their gifts of ingenuity. Brains over brawn may be cliche` but its the reality of it all. Beauty is no longer a blessing–it can be bought. Computers has substituted the mathematician, specialization is good but versatility is better; however creativity is unrivaled.  There is a certain caliber of person that will thrive, one that can combine intellect with style; a person that can create “artistic inventions”–offer an experience.

To stimulate and coax the superego is the objective. Now if you can create, control and sell  an “experience” you are on the right road. Don’t just think product or labor oriented services but the overall experience. Marketing gurus have understood this concept of human psychology and applied the science.

The 6 senses of the conceptual age:

1. Not just function but also design
2. Not just an argument but also a story
3. Not just focus but also symphony
4. Not just logic but also empathy
5. Not just seriousness but also play
6. Not just accumulation but also meaning

Credited to Daniel Pink

Self-Discovery is the theme for 2013

What are your true strengths?

I am always consumed in my thoughts nowadays, more now than ever before in my life. Living away from family and friends gives a shock of self- realization that would have gone unnoticed– drowned in routine. Our family, friends and peers influence our self concept more than we comprehend in day to day life. With maturity of the mind, a repertoire of different perspectives and knowledge we grasp a greater understanding of our passion and capabilities with help of the pressures of success. I can look back at my upbringing and conclude that our personalities and path in life is directly influence by a combination of nature and nurture.

How does the world see me?

This a question I ask myself constantly; the answer is ever-changing depending on the circumstances. Before we can readily answer this question we must first understand the people surrounding us. The main idea I want to share is; it is imperative we educate ourselves about different ideologies and viewpoints in our complex society.

I have a fear of being delusional, not in a mentally ill way “chuckles” but when sifting through your thoughts so much you question the solidity and relevance of the options. I have waves of optimism that propel me towards an ambitious future but then strategic thinking keeps me grounded.

A word of warning: Be on the lookout for the one menacing danger that can undermine you: delusion. This occurs when you keep acting, keep failing, and don’t realize it. You think that you had a strength in public speaking, yet you don’t realize the audience is zoning out. Or you imagine yourself a superstar salesperson, yet never wonder why nobody buys. Or you see yourself as the greatest manager of people since Lambordi, yet never notice that your employees steer clear of you as you patrol the hallways. Or, most dangerous of all, you dimly register your poor performances, yet somehow seem to find a million reasons why it has nothing to do with you. Delusions plus denial is   a lethal combination.

The philosopher Baruch Spinoza said that “to be what we are and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.” You may disagree with his emphasis, but surely one of the goals in your life is to discover and apply your strenghts. If your senses are numbed with delusion and denial, you will stop looking for these true strengths and wind up living a second-rate version of someone else’s life rather than a world-class version of your own.

–“Now, Discover Your Strenghts” by Marcus Buckingham & Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.

I often ask people who I interact with about my character to get a better idea of who I am. Our vanity often blinds us on areas we could improve.

What are some key qualities in me?

The answer would vary from person to person, since we interact differently with individuals based on their role in our lives.

• I have learnt that I see the bigger picture most of the time and often overlook little key details. Maybe this is the strong sagittarius in me; a dreamer that may trip on uneven ground while gazing at the stars.

• Realist: I accept the world; I have a sense of “understanding” that some older persons describe as an “old soul.”

• Independent

• Proud– “act like a king to be treated like a king” (48 Laws of Power Robert Greene)

48 Laws of Power

Try this excercise, make sure the person is in your comfort zone and you in theirs. This is necessary to receive their opinions gracefully

Cater to  your strengths rather than dwelling on weaknesses

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